The star scattered sky over my head.
Just like the blanket when I'm laying in bed.
The little lights hovered and danced.
But I lay there motionless just in a trance.
Perhaps its the weed and the henny.
Maybe the coke its where I'm blow my money.
I need to open my eyes and see the light,
before it gets late and I'm trapped in the night.
But in the deepest dark ive found salvation,
the people that care as a form of donation.
Providing sweet words and warm hands.
That are all lost In the time of sands.
RK
Yes it does have a rhyme of 1-1, 2-2, 3-3, 4-4, 5-5, and 6-6.
ReplyDeleteBut for some reason after line 8 I feel like its another poem like the subject changed, maybe line 9 is also good but I definitely feel a different vibe from it when I reach line 10.
(or I might not be understanding the meaning after line 9)
Seems to be ok with me, I read it as it goes and seems to rhyme until the end but hey I'm not really a poem guy so my comment doesn't count as much.
ReplyDeleteI really like this poem. I like how it flowed while I read it. I also am not to big on poetry and most of the time I don't understand it. It makes me want to go lay under the stars and forget life for a bit. I also like the fact that I understand the message and I don't have to look up the meaning of anything... well I think I get it at least.
ReplyDelete